sucess OR failure? who gets to decide?

My nephew Jake (in black)met me (in grey and blue) at the last 1/2 mile and ran it in with me, he was a ROCK at the worst moment for me....


My sister Carlee (in the darker shorts) and me coming up to the top of the
trail out of the canyon 1.25 miles of STRAIGHT UPHILL hell!!) and a HUGE
achievement and relief....







so, you get to see the bad photos - sorry, they are far from
attractive, far from impressive, but they are real and that is
what I am going for here on this blog

this is the real deal

I went to Twin Falls late Fri night with my sisters
feeling under prepared for the RIM2RIM 7.5 mile run (walk n run)
I was facing Sat morning - part of the pressure was that
I had several family members with me, my 2 sisters who
were running with me, my older sister and her hubby who
came to 'cheer' and support us as well as my sisters
daughter (my neice) and her husband who ran with us too...
my neice and her husband are GOOD runners, GOOD-FAST-AMAZING
runners.

I won't go into too much detail but I had a plan, and basically
I was good with it until some crazy nosey dude made some comments
to my sisters and I that were SUPER insulting...my sister god
mad and lost focus and we ended up sticking together and barely
running maybe even 2 miles of the whole thing. :O( SUCKED!!!!

I *did* run the entire downhill (steeeep) portion and a lot of
the bottom of the canyon and into the finish... I was proud of
that in its' own little wierd way. I did not run much of any of
the first part - I held back and it makes me sad/mad now.
I didn't make it up the main hill in under 20 min as I had hoped and
I did not beat 2 hours like I'd hoped. And the BIGGEST fail was
that my time as a RUNNER this year, vs a WALKER last year was 15 sec
LONGER than last year!? I DO NOT GET THAT AT ALL!

Thankfully I had a lot of support and that helped. I was feeling ok
with my 'failures' and giving myself kudo's for going, for running,
for blowing off the guy who was so be-litteling to us... I was doing
ok until I saw the photos.
Now I am feeling sick and like a failure.
My sister got us all matching running tank tee's and oh my hannah
that was not good - not good at all. I am disgusted with how I looked
and disgusted with what I did not accomplish. Failure is a big word but
today it is fitting for me.

OK so the sucess?

I have new goals. Big goals. LOTS of drive.

and I can't talk much more about this cuz' I am still on a high and
a low from everything...

It is what it is.

ya know??